I'm sorry, men, in advance. I have a baby. A baby that likes very much to eat. So please forgive me if I spend the next several minutes or so discussing breastfeeding. Thank you for your forgiveness, patience and understanding. And not necessarily in that order. This is a recording.
As it just so happens, it's much easier the second time. The nights spent in tears the first time... well that just didn't happen this time. In fact, I'm really enjoying it. There is one minute difference this time. The fact that now I'm feeding a boy, and he eats. He eats alot. And you know what? I'm going to confess something. My milk runneth over. Really. Like, all of the time. I had plenty the first time around and chubbed my girl right up. I've never lacked for milk, or for that matter my babies have never lacked for milk. But, this time, woah. It's random. It spills. It breaks free of it's duct at a moments notice. I'm sorry men, I know this is way too much information for you, please just UN-FOLLOW now and spare us all.
Or don't. It will be over soon.
I recently went out with my girlfriend to meet up with a bunch of photographers to learn. It was great. I rode in a car with a friend and we could talk. It was my favorite thing ever. Because there's just something about having a three year old and a newborn that's attached to you, oh just about 24 hours a day that makes riding in a car with an adult A COMPLETE THRILL RIDE. You're ready to do cartwheels while eating french fries and belting out showtunes. Just because you can.
So, we arrive, and walk around for a bit, meeting other photographers and checking out the venders. Only I'm not so much walking, it's more of a happy dance, because I actually have my arms free to do so. And get this, I COULD TAKE NOTES, with both hands. I know right? Go ahead, envy me.
After a while I decided to check my phone to see what time it was. There was my first mistake, and I can't even bring myself to tell you what happened at that moment. Except I will. Because I'm a blogger and that's what we do. And really I should have known better, but this is what I saw when I turned my phone on:
I wish I could tell you that this is where the story ends, but sadly it doesn't. I will say that, thankfully, for everyone in the room, I was wearing absorbent breastmilk pads, because every single one of my ducts kicked into high gear, went berserk and almost knocked me face first onto the floor. I could have fed every single adult in that room. Not that I would have. But those pads held alot of wayward milk.
Alas, there's more. And do you even want to know what happened? Seriously, I'm shaking my head right now because I can't believe I'm going to write this. I can't believe I didn't learn my lesson.
Not even forty minutes later I looked at my phone to check the time.
My breasts exploded.